Emotional safety is the very foundation of a healthy life. Painfully, emotional safety is largely overlooked in our world today. Passive-aggressive behaviour is one of the major culprits of this lack of safety because it's so subtle and more difficult to detect than overtly aggressive behaviour.
Passive-aggressive people are everywhere. They can frustrate you and affect your life negatively if you do not learn to manage them.
To clarify, passive-aggressive behaviour is the tendency to engage in covert expressions of anger through actions such as the silent treatment, indirect insults, a surly attitude, not to mention a reluctance to follow instructions and accomplish required tasks.
Someone who uses passive-aggression may be outwardly cheerful or pretends to be nice when people are around while indirectly expressing resentment and hostility towards the victim. Sounds familiar?
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People in my generation and older were taught to swallow our anger or frustration. We were meant to believe that enduring passive-aggressive acts are signs of respect and maturity. Because of these cultural rules, we were not given permission to express difficult emotions, nor were we taught skilful ways of communicating our feelings. I think that many people dont even realize that they're acting passive-aggressively because it's been normalized in their family. For these people, being passive-aggressive might be the only option for expressing pain and anger without creating negative consequences, like losing a friend or their job.
For these people, it is a normal way of life. And this is why we have so many of such people around frustrating others without knowing the harm they are causing other people. Think about that your lecturer everyone fears. Or that your boss at work who is hard to please.
It's helpful to understand why people act the way they do so we can then choose to act more wisely and deliberately. That said, most people have some degree of awareness of what they're doing and the effects that their behaviour has on others. Since passive-aggressive people find their power in knowing they can make others feel uncomfortable, sad or separate, confronting them about this issue may not work in your favour.
If you have been a victim or living with the attitude of a passive-aggressive person by accepting the treatment and quietly suffering through. I encourage you to practice communicating assertively and learn to set firm boundaries. Once you do this, their behaviour should change and if it doesn't, please consider removing yourself from their life.
I understand that some people are enduring passive-aggressive people at work to meet end needs or in school (from lecturers most especially), I am sorry that you have found yourself in this no-win cycle. The good news is this, you will not be in that school forever! And for the company where your boss is a passive-aggressive person, focus on giving your best even when he acts like your best is not enough, deep down his heart, he knows how important you are. While giving your best, look elsewhere. The day you find a better job is the day you will realise your importance and how much respect this passive-aggressive person has for you.
Enjoy the rest of today.
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People should also work on their emotional intelligence to deal with passive aggressive person.
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